What Your Kids Feel About Divorce
What Your Kids Feel About Divorce
Face it. Not all relationships last forever. Some are meant to last, and there are those that are simply short-lived. Even marriage is not excluded from the dramas and hassles of breaking up. When married couples finally call it quits, that is when the subject of divorce comes in.
However, when married couples agree to pursue a divorce, the decision is oftentimes based on their emotions and not by logical thinking. Many people tend to become emotional when facing a divorce; they are not entirely thinking or taking into consideration the effects of their decision, especially upon their children.
Soon-to-be-separated couples with no children are lucky, for the process of divorce will be a lot easier for them. Apart from the hassle of haggling with lawyers and surviving the emotional stress of the entire divorce process, parents with children still need to think about the welfare of their kids. In fact, the children should be the first thing that parents should consider when thinking about ending their marriage.
For some couples who intend to get a divorce, they sometimes forget to ask their kids how they feel about it. They fail to see that their children may experience emotional abuse on the entire divorce process. With the separation as a start of a new life for divorced parents, they should try to know their new responsibilities, and this include trying their very best to protect their kids from the negative effects of divorce.
The following are the common effects of divorce on children:
1. The child may feel fear and anxiety on the issue of divorce.
If the children are too young to understand the concept of divorce, then it is most likely that understanding and accepting the whole situation will be a lot easier. However, if teenagers or adolescents are the ones involved, then divorced parents may have to deal with more serious emotional issues. It is possible for teens to be afraid or be anxious about the whole divorce process. They may feel ashamed and conscious on how their peers may react on their new family status or they may scared and unsure of what the future lies for them.
2. The child may feel torn between two parents.
It is very common among divorce issues wherein the child may feel torn between his parents. Divorced couples oftentimes overlook this trauma on their children, for they become obsessed about whom their child should spend the most time with. The child, of course, may feel guilty when choosing between his parents whom he both loved and respected.
To protect children from the negative effects of divorce, parents should:
1. Try to be selective and careful about the information they share with their children.
Remember that every child has different ways to cope with their parents’ divorce. Some may take it lightly and others may take it very seriously. This commonly happens when the parents themselves fail to spare their kids from the dirty works of the divorce. Hence, it is best not to include the children in the issues the divorce process.
2. Always be available whenever their child needs them.
Although the divorce requires a lot of time and attention, parents should not forget to spend more time with their children. It is a must for parents to be always present whenever their child wants to talk to them.